Bob: Because the fans want novels instead of DLC or more games. Right.

Chris: HA! You thought EA gave a crap about what the fans wanted.

Bob: Maybe just a little…

Chris: Aw. That’s cute.

Bob: I guess part of the reason they’re laying off of Mass Effect is to focus on Anthem. Buuut, more realistically, they got one glimpse of that negative publicity and decided “Nope! That hurt our feelings!”

Chris: Dude. If Anthem isn’t reeeally good, you know what’s gonna happen to BioWare.

Bob: Yeah. They’ll start a new project out of the blue.

Chris: …no.

Bob: What? They did it with-

Chris: Two words – Visceral Games.

Bob: …oh no.

Chris: But, uh, seriously. Why novels? I mean… of all the things ya could’ve done – web shows, comics, anything, you chose… novels. For one of the most visually intriguing franchises in gaming. Dude.

Bob: Right? And those comics were actually pretty good, too! But I just love the reasoning they actually gave for backing down from Mass Effect.

Chris: That Dragon Age game they’ll get around to, come the 12th of never?

Bob: Nope. EA’s boss, Patrick Soderlund actually said that Mass Effect would return, but only when it feels “relevant” and “fresh.”

Chris: …Mass Effect is a space opera political drama. Is he not existing in the same timeline as the rest of us? Has he just not been paying attention to the current socio-political climate? There are tons of things to draw inspiration from, right now! And isn’t this the same guy who whined about the game “receiving too much criticism?”

Bob: Aww. I think someone needs their binky. Criticism isn’t some monster that’s out to eat you and your family, dude. It’s a necessary part of the creative process.

Chris: There’s no such thing as “too much criticism.” There’s certainly such a thing as unhelpful criticism. We generally call that one of two things.

Bob: Being a butt kisser-

Chris: Or being an ass.

Bob: But if your game’s just getting a lot of criticism, that generally means one thing, dude. Your game needs fixing. Badly.

Chris: But no. All that nasty criticism hurt your little feelings, so you’re shoving your head down like an ostrich, and hiding behind your books.

Bob: And look, the books could be awesome-

Chris: Though the delay doesn’t make things look good.

Bob: But all we really want is another great Mass Effect GAME.

Chris: Also. Dragon Age, please. Kinda been a while.

Bob: Yes. Also that.

Chris: Still. Gotta wonder what the novel’s even about.

Bob: The Quarians.

Chris: Seriously?

Bob: Yep. It’s apparently about what happened on the ark that the Quarians took off for Andromeda in. Also the Drell, Elcor, and Batari-

Chris: So what did happen to the Quarians?

Bob: Pathogen.

Chris: …There better be more.

Bob: And sabotage. Question mark.

Chris: What, like an indoctrinated Quarian stalling the ark in dark space so the Reapers could get it?

Bob: Oh god. I hadn’t even thought about that. That’s horrifying. They wouldn’t even know what was happening.

Chris: In fairness, neither did 90% of the galaxy, considering how many people actually listened to Shepard.

Bob: …This is true.

Chris: Anyway, I’m about done with this topic.

Bob: But-

Chris: Not worth the rise in blood pressure, dude.

Bob: Fine. That’s all for today. Thanks for letting us waste your time, people.

Chris: Keep up the awesome, folks.

Bob: Keep it classy.

Chris: And take care.