Well this was… a game.

Chris: Bob… what the devil did we just play?

Bob: I’m… still trying to figure that out.

C: It was… a videogame… right?

B: Yeah. I think. It was based on RWBY.

C: Right… I’m not sure what can be said about this.

B: I can say a few words about it.

C: But where to begin?

B: We could start… at the beginning. *dramatic music*

C: …You’re on probation for that. This is RWBY: Grimm Eclipse.

For anyone not caught up, RWBY is an anime and fairytale inspired web-series, produced by Rooster Teeth, and created by the late Monty Oum. It follows the adventures of… well… Ruby – an energetic girl with- y’know what… just go read Bob’s articles.

B: Yay! I’m important!

C: You just keep telling yourself that.

B: I will!

The game, on the other hand… the game is not the show. It’s an action, beat-em-up that lets you take the reins of some of your favorite characters in the show. But there’s only one question to ask about it. How Evil is-

C: Wrong series.

B: Oh yeah…

C: Although let’s be real, here. That question’s more valid than one would think, because… good lord this thing is sadistically hard!

B: And we only played on normal mode! There’s, like, three other difficulties after that!

C: Plus the horde mode we still haven’t played.

B: The game has ten chapters. Each one you travel through a pretty short level, fighting waves of Grimm along the way… and towards the end… some other things, too.

C: Not yet, Bob. But really… the game is pretty much like the show. Oh, not the riotous humor or the awesome fight scenes. No. I’m talking about the lightness on story.

B: It does have the music!

C: …Okay. 1 Point.

B: Gameplay’s pretty easy. Light Attack, Heavy Attack, combos by using a heavy after a certain amount of lights, Right Bumper for an ultimate, dodging, dashing, basic stuff, really. What more would you expect? It’s their first game.

C: The game starts you off discovering a weird device undergrou- it’s the backstory of Mt. Glenn. No need to really get into the nitty gritty details. Even the game doesn’t.

B: Yeah… this is definitely a gameplay game. Story’s secondary.

C: Music.

B: Story’s tertiary.

The plot’s pretty basic. Evil organization’s capturing Grimm so it can study and experiment on them for… reasons. Apparently the main bad guy was experimenting on Grimm already, and ran out of test subjects, so he started drawing them to Mt. Glenn, which is what led to the place basically being a crater.

C: Wait… if he has the resources to just go out and capture them in the game, why did he ever need to draw them to Mt. Glenn?

B: I don’t think he thought that far ahead.

C: Neither did Rooster Teeth, evidently.

Whatevs. Gameplay game. Though it does bug me that for having some of the most quirky characters on the internet, you don’t actually get to interact with the plot much, if at all. In fact, the characters you play as barely have any lines. Most of the game is told in exposition, or in dialogues between external characters.

B: In really long, hard-to-read walls of text… Oobleck.

Yeah. Your characters pretty much only say anything all that interesting when they’re fighting. Did anyone else think it was a missed opportunity to not have any unique lines based on what characters were in the chapter with one another? Like lines between Jaun and Weiss or Nora and Ren?

C: Or perhaps the most obvious ones? Ruby and Yang? Ruby and Weiss? Ruby and… okay, Blake would probably be pretty much the same, but you get the idea.

Okay, let’s just get into the important part. Through the vanilla plot, complete absence of story, simple gameplay, and awesome music, what else is there?

B: Well, it’s pretty. Really pretty, actually. The effects aren’t anything to write home about, but the environment art and level design is really something. Though there are a few minor hiccups. Character lighting, for example. Yeah. What lighting?

C: I just assumed they had spotlights following them around at all times.

B: But then they’d at least have shadows.

C: True.

B: At least it’s an enjoyable game.

C: Yeah. For the most part… until…

B: Yeah…

C/B: Those last three chapters, tho…

C: I mean holy mother those were tedious.

B: Robots. So. Many. Robots.

C: So much poison!

B: Right when we thought the worst things we’d have to fight were Ursa. Whether it be the red ninjas of death that you just. Can’t. Counter.

C: Or the white trigger-happy gunners that can snipe you out of the air WITH A GRENADE LAUNCHER.

B: Over and over again.

C: Shut up, Bob.

B: Why did that keep happening to you, anyway?

C: Shut. Up. Bob.

B: Not my fault they all locked onto you the second they spawned.

C: Bob…

B: All right, all right. As unforgiving as those last few chapters were, though, they were pretty fun.

C: I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.

B: You know you had fun.

C: Yes, watching you run around like a chicken with its head cut off while I was waiting to respawn was quite amusing.

B: But you did save my life a lot, though!

C: Damn right. Actually, I think that might be something worth noting. This… is not a game you play solo.

B: Oh god no. You need friends to do this. It does technically scale down the fewer people you have in the party, but…

C: But even if it didn’t, playing the game solo just… isn’t all that fun. It becomes a grind, and it’s kind of boring. It’s something you really want to play with friends, because it’s a mindless killing spree that keeps producing funny moments that would just be frustrating to deal with, alone.

B: If I’d played those last few levels solo, I’m pretty sure I’d have pulled my hair out.

C: Hair?

B: Okay, beard.

C: Yeah, well. The main thing keeping those levels fun was having someone else there to make the irritating situations funny.

B: So basically you and Overwatch.

C: Shut up.

Look, we’re stretching this out because there’s not really a lot to say. You’ve got ten chapters of a pretty game with awesome music, minimal plot, near zero story, and standard gameplay. But we weren’t expecting it to be a godsend. Heck, I’m only lukewarm towards even the show.

B: But it is an awesome time with friends, getting to laugh at the hilarity that comes from having to fight off wave after wave of enemies together, comparing scores at the end.

C: Heh.

B: Shut up, Chris.

C: Overall I’d recommend picking it up if you have yourself some RWBY or beat-em-up fan friends to play it with. It’s worth its sensible $15 price point.

B: Imagine if they’d charged full Triple A price for it?

C: If they did, we wouldn’t be writing this.

B: True. Anyway, I’d say it’s about as Evil as-

C: Don’t…

B: A Grimm.

C: That’s it, I’m done!

B: Thanks for letting us waste your time, people! This has been Scripted Gaming. I’m Bob!

C: I’m Chri- wait. Are you-?

B: Stay-

C: How are you getting this mixed up with Bulletoon?! You don’t even write that show!

B: Eh. Worth a shot.

C: Ugh. Keep up the awesome, folks. And take care.

B: Keep it classy.

Evil Bob & Chris V.